I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
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No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
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after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You left your phone here
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