You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
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Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
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After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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