therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
