I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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