I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
