Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I had to cum in my sink.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
