We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
