But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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