the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
