In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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