p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
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I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
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I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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