don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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