You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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