2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
