I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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