I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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