we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Who put my cat in the fridge?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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