i think my tv is drunk
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
