i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
