why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
