my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
