This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
