just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
