whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
