Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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