I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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