You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
