I'm laying in your front yard are you home
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Be still, my beating vagina.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
