So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
