wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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