Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
