I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
