That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
