Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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