See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize