I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
