when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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