I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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