Apparently you make a good broom.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
