I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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