whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
