What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize