it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
