sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
