So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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