Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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