I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
