where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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