My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she smelled like a LAN party
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
