Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
