Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
