I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
