you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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