I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
