I heard we made out
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
