shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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