Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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