allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
