Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
