Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
