I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
