So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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