I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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